The desert's sand seemed to stretch on forever. My shoe laces were discolored from the miles and miles of walking in the never ending desert. The hawks slowly circled overhead, sensing my growing weakness. I soon feared for the worst; fear for that I was a goner.
This fear was soon relieved as I came upon a cliff. I looked down and at first, only saw more and more desert. My heart dropped like lead very fast until I caught sight of something turquoise advancing up the cliff. As it came close to my position, I realized it was a man. The man was middle-aged with graying hair. When the man reached the top of the cliff, he said, "Hello sir. What do you need?"
"I come from a downed chopper several miles back. I am the only one that survived. I need to know where the nearest town is," I said.
"You from the military?"
"That is not important now."
"Well first, let's rest. You look like you've been walking for miles. Do you like pineapple?"
"Sure. Sure."
The man took two gigantic pineapples out of his backpack and gave one of them to me. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I took the juicy fruit from him. I ate like a starving refugee, tearing the fruit apart. This was the best pineapple I had ever had.
"Well, I think we've rested enough. Let's get going now. Don't want to travel at night with the Walkington Pirates around these parts."
"The Walkington Pirates?" I asked.
"Yes. A desert gang that will attack anybody and will steal everything from you. I wouldn't mess with this lot," he replied.
"Well this area needs to step up and face them. As soon as we get back, let's make plans to lead a counterattack."
"Ah, dude? Are you nuts? These dudes will rip you to shreds."
"Well we've got the element of surprise. Let's go."
This fear was soon relieved as I came upon a cliff. I looked down and at first, only saw more and more desert. My heart dropped like lead very fast until I caught sight of something turquoise advancing up the cliff. As it came close to my position, I realized it was a man. The man was middle-aged with graying hair. When the man reached the top of the cliff, he said, "Hello sir. What do you need?"
"I come from a downed chopper several miles back. I am the only one that survived. I need to know where the nearest town is," I said.
"You from the military?"
"That is not important now."
"Well first, let's rest. You look like you've been walking for miles. Do you like pineapple?"
"Sure. Sure."
The man took two gigantic pineapples out of his backpack and gave one of them to me. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I took the juicy fruit from him. I ate like a starving refugee, tearing the fruit apart. This was the best pineapple I had ever had.
"Well, I think we've rested enough. Let's get going now. Don't want to travel at night with the Walkington Pirates around these parts."
"The Walkington Pirates?" I asked.
"Yes. A desert gang that will attack anybody and will steal everything from you. I wouldn't mess with this lot," he replied.
"Well this area needs to step up and face them. As soon as we get back, let's make plans to lead a counterattack."
"Ah, dude? Are you nuts? These dudes will rip you to shreds."
"Well we've got the element of surprise. Let's go."
Soon we came to their camp. But, I couldn't hold back a sneeze. They whirled around and tied us up. I had nothing on me, so they went for the other dude. They opened up his bag.
"Hey all this idiot has in here is pineapples!" said one of them.
"Worthless! Just let them go. But first, why do you have so many pineapples?" Said one with a thick beard and seemed to be their leader.
"I'm an, uh, pineapple merchant." said my partner.
"Wow that's pretty sad." said the leader.
But they let us go. We walked a ways in silence, then suddenly he said, “That was a lie back there, I'm not really a pineapple merchant."
"What are you then, and why do you have so many pineapples?
"I am... Pineapple Man."
"Hey all this idiot has in here is pineapples!" said one of them.
"Worthless! Just let them go. But first, why do you have so many pineapples?" Said one with a thick beard and seemed to be their leader.
"I'm an, uh, pineapple merchant." said my partner.
"Wow that's pretty sad." said the leader.
But they let us go. We walked a ways in silence, then suddenly he said, “That was a lie back there, I'm not really a pineapple merchant."
"What are you then, and why do you have so many pineapples?
"I am... Pineapple Man."
"What? Haha good one dude," I said.
"No dude. I'm serious here man. I am the dude from the incident at Mt. Pineapple. I was shrunk and found the secret antidote. I do not wish to tell you but, that is how I became THE PINEAPPLE MAN!!!"
"Oh. So you're like some superhero man, dude?" I asked.
"You can put it that way. I actually have the same idea of rebelling against the Walkington Pirates. I just needed you. You have the strategy. You have the answer to beating these guys. You have the powers to defeat these guys. I know this because, because you are my brother."
"No dude. I'm serious here man. I am the dude from the incident at Mt. Pineapple. I was shrunk and found the secret antidote. I do not wish to tell you but, that is how I became THE PINEAPPLE MAN!!!"
"Oh. So you're like some superhero man, dude?" I asked.
"You can put it that way. I actually have the same idea of rebelling against the Walkington Pirates. I just needed you. You have the strategy. You have the answer to beating these guys. You have the powers to defeat these guys. I know this because, because you are my brother."
"What? Mom said you went off to college!"
"Well, I got lost and ended up on a desert island. I ate a pineapple, but before I had read the sign that said "Warning: Don't eat a pineapple or you will suffer the curse of the pineapple. Since it was too late, I began to shrink. I discovered the antidote, but some of the pineapple juice had already shrunk into my spleen. The juice from the pineapple in my spleen did two things. It burned a path from my stomach to my spleen. It also gave my spleen a maximum over drive and it started producing yellow blood cells. The yellow blood cells in my body went through my brain and muscles giving me super strength and intelligence. But if I stop eating pineapples, the spleen will lose it's power to produce yellow blood cells and I will lose my powers. If I eat anything but pineapples the food will react hazardously with the spleen and it may blow up. My powers only last about 4 hours without pineapples. That is why I always carry pineapples and how I got the name PINEAPPLE MAN."
"Wow, and you’re really my brother. Man, I've got a lot to live up to."
"Well, with you, my brother, I can build a path from my veins to add some yellow blood cells. It has to be my brother, because the yellow blood cells will not be able to survive in another person's blood. So as long as you are within 50 feet of me, we will both have powers. The path is a quantum based generator that I will need to build two receivers for. I'll get started."
"I call being named CAPTAIN PINEAPPLE! Sweet! We'll be a dynamic duo then. Right bro?" I commented.
"You bet. You'll also have the knowledge of a soldier because you have been in the army before." said Pineapple Man.
"Yeah. You're right. That reminds me, I have a pistol in my pocket. I have about five clips for it."
"Good. Let's plan for our next attack now."
"Well, I got lost and ended up on a desert island. I ate a pineapple, but before I had read the sign that said "Warning: Don't eat a pineapple or you will suffer the curse of the pineapple. Since it was too late, I began to shrink. I discovered the antidote, but some of the pineapple juice had already shrunk into my spleen. The juice from the pineapple in my spleen did two things. It burned a path from my stomach to my spleen. It also gave my spleen a maximum over drive and it started producing yellow blood cells. The yellow blood cells in my body went through my brain and muscles giving me super strength and intelligence. But if I stop eating pineapples, the spleen will lose it's power to produce yellow blood cells and I will lose my powers. If I eat anything but pineapples the food will react hazardously with the spleen and it may blow up. My powers only last about 4 hours without pineapples. That is why I always carry pineapples and how I got the name PINEAPPLE MAN."
"Wow, and you’re really my brother. Man, I've got a lot to live up to."
"Well, with you, my brother, I can build a path from my veins to add some yellow blood cells. It has to be my brother, because the yellow blood cells will not be able to survive in another person's blood. So as long as you are within 50 feet of me, we will both have powers. The path is a quantum based generator that I will need to build two receivers for. I'll get started."
"I call being named CAPTAIN PINEAPPLE! Sweet! We'll be a dynamic duo then. Right bro?" I commented.
"You bet. You'll also have the knowledge of a soldier because you have been in the army before." said Pineapple Man.
"Yeah. You're right. That reminds me, I have a pistol in my pocket. I have about five clips for it."
"Good. Let's plan for our next attack now."
"Let's take down the Mafia!" I said.
"No, that's too hard, and I'm not even sure their still around." said Pineapple Man.
"How 'bout Al Capone?"
"He died like a million years ago."
"Hmmm..."
"How about the Walkington Pirates?" suggested Pineapple Man
"Nah, too easy."
"Let's go get that doctor that uses Pineapples to cure stomach deformations. He's a violator of the Pineapple Code!" said Pineapple Man
"Yeah! He's going down to the ground. D-O-W-N down! So down, he will be like a... um... something that's down! Do you hear me!? Down! Down! DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Hey calm down, bro."
"I'll calm down like he's gonna go down!!!"
"BRO!!!!"
"Sorry, I took it a little far didn't I"
"A little?"
"Well, let's go!"
"No, that's too hard, and I'm not even sure their still around." said Pineapple Man.
"How 'bout Al Capone?"
"He died like a million years ago."
"Hmmm..."
"How about the Walkington Pirates?" suggested Pineapple Man
"Nah, too easy."
"Let's go get that doctor that uses Pineapples to cure stomach deformations. He's a violator of the Pineapple Code!" said Pineapple Man
"Yeah! He's going down to the ground. D-O-W-N down! So down, he will be like a... um... something that's down! Do you hear me!? Down! Down! DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Hey calm down, bro."
"I'll calm down like he's gonna go down!!!"
"BRO!!!!"
"Sorry, I took it a little far didn't I"
"A little?"
"Well, let's go!"
Pineapple Man led me to his secret stash found under a pineapple tree.
"Wait a second, pineapples don't grow on trees," I said when they arrived at the stash entrance.
"Exactly. Makes it easier for me to find my stash. It actually is a pineapple tree I invented," replied Pineapple Man with enthusiasm.
"Oh. Bro that's cool."
"I know. I was always the creative one."
"I have no idea so let's just get on with it."
"Okay. Okay."
Pineapple Man walked to the base of the pineapple tree and climbed to the top. When he got to the top, he grabbed a pineapple and jumped down. He crawled around the base of the tree until he found an opening just big enough for the pineapple and inserted the pineapple into it. A secret entrance soon appeared a few feet in front of me.
"You got to teach me how to do that!" I exclaimed.
"You will. You will soon enough."
As I was about to step into the entrance, Pineapple Man soon tackled me.
"What?! Why..."
"Don't, the Pineacopter pad hasn't gotten to the top yet," Pineapple Man explained.
"The Pineaca what?"
"The Pineacopter."
"This just keeps getting better and better."
"Wait a second, pineapples don't grow on trees," I said when they arrived at the stash entrance.
"Exactly. Makes it easier for me to find my stash. It actually is a pineapple tree I invented," replied Pineapple Man with enthusiasm.
"Oh. Bro that's cool."
"I know. I was always the creative one."
"I have no idea so let's just get on with it."
"Okay. Okay."
Pineapple Man walked to the base of the pineapple tree and climbed to the top. When he got to the top, he grabbed a pineapple and jumped down. He crawled around the base of the tree until he found an opening just big enough for the pineapple and inserted the pineapple into it. A secret entrance soon appeared a few feet in front of me.
"You got to teach me how to do that!" I exclaimed.
"You will. You will soon enough."
As I was about to step into the entrance, Pineapple Man soon tackled me.
"What?! Why..."
"Don't, the Pineacopter pad hasn't gotten to the top yet," Pineapple Man explained.
"The Pineaca what?"
"The Pineacopter."
"This just keeps getting better and better."
"I know, right? Here's our costumes." He said as he handed me a blue piece of fabric.
"Cookie Monster? How are we supposed to fit into these?"
"It comes with the hero plan. It's included of any purchase of pineapple powers."
"What purchase?"
"Never mind, there was no purchase, but it's hard to explain. Get dressed."
So I did. We got in the Pinecopter and flew off. Eventually we got to San Fran. We saw a kid and a man talking to each other angrily, the kid with a Nerf gun.
"There he is. Who's that kid?" I asked.
"Oh, wow! You don't recognize him? He's the real discoverer of the pineapple cure of stomach deformations. That was, until the pineapple scandal of 2011. See, that's how the doctor I was telling you about violated The Code. Any discoveries are owned by the discoverer by right of The Code. He violated the rule! Let's get him!"
"Cookie Monster? How are we supposed to fit into these?"
"It comes with the hero plan. It's included of any purchase of pineapple powers."
"What purchase?"
"Never mind, there was no purchase, but it's hard to explain. Get dressed."
So I did. We got in the Pinecopter and flew off. Eventually we got to San Fran. We saw a kid and a man talking to each other angrily, the kid with a Nerf gun.
"There he is. Who's that kid?" I asked.
"Oh, wow! You don't recognize him? He's the real discoverer of the pineapple cure of stomach deformations. That was, until the pineapple scandal of 2011. See, that's how the doctor I was telling you about violated The Code. Any discoveries are owned by the discoverer by right of The Code. He violated the rule! Let's get him!"
